Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head

Oh my gosh! A week ago now, it was nearing midnight and I went to the kitchen to rinse out a dish left in the sink from a friend coming to dinner earlier. When I turned on the faucet, the top flew off spewing water everywhere! It was literally raining in our kitchen! Had a few surreal moments with thoughts like “This isn’t really happening, I must be dreaming because this kinda thing is meant for the movies, not real life!” Woulda sworn I was dreaming in fact, except that I could smell the pasta I’d prepared and could feel the water raining down on my back as I fumbled with the handle to no avail. I got my bum movin’ and ran to Tina’s door.

“Tina, Oh, my gosh, Tina! Water, water everywhere! It won’t stop! Stop it! We gotta call the emergency number! Call the emergency number! I’m going to get the phone. Get the phone!”

Tina’s calling the emergency number …“Babe?” she said …

… uh, babe?

“Hi!” she continued. “My sister woke me up and I’m in the kitchen and there’s water everywhere! No, water! WATER! Everywhere! Babe! What do I do?”

She’d called her boyfriend.

I’d frantically began removing stuff from under the sink to reach the knobs to turn the water off. She did a mini-dive under the sink next to me and began working on the knobs as he instructed her on which one of the three to try. We had water jets in the face, up the nose, down the back, we were sopping wet! While she maneuvered the knobs, I grabbed a phone and began calling the real emergency number. Ringing … still ringing … no answer, no voice mail picking up either … hmm … it occurred to me, why not take some pictures?

Was snapping away (camera’s often thisclose to me), when I began to catch bits of conversation from Bean over the sound of gushing water …

“… something going on … electrical … yeah … flashes like lightning … overhead lights … electrocuted … help … what do I do?!”

We were so flipping soaked and I remembered the wild-eyed look on her face as she came barging out of her room, door flung open, glasses askew

I let out a teeny little laugh over her thinking that the camera flashes were electrical issues caused by the water. Tried to point and yell and let her know it was just the camera, but she couldn’t even begin to hear me. She was losing the battle under that sink so I gave it a shot next. Lefty-loosy, tighty-righty, I repeated to myself. NOTHING was working. No knob seemed to be the one. I began cranking one of the suckers to the left all the way.Turning, turning, turning, as the knob came loose, as in wobbly, in my hand. “Oh, no, it does NOT!” I’m thinking, “It can’t fall off!” One more hard crank to the left caused the water pressure to significantly drop, but it was still spraying water in my face. Turning it back in the opposite direction just a bit did the trick for some reason, and the water came to an end, thank God. Knob still in place. I stood up into a sloshing of accumulated water on the kitchen floor, my toes on the way to pruney. Bean and I looked at each other and cracked up. Nothing else to do, you know? We were so flipping soaked and I remembered the wild-eyed look on her face as she came barging out of her room, door flung open, glasses askew, no clue what was going on, but ready to fight, all the same. She told me how funny I sounded shouting about “Water, water everywhere!” and let me know I was nuts for taking photos amidst the entire thing. Then she forbade me from ever rinsing off the dishes past her bedtime again.

The emergency number I called after the boyfriend still brought no emergency response. They ended up calling shortly after 8am the next morning, apologizing profusely, as they well should have, and came over to install a brand new faucet. Yay! All’s well that ends well since we simply dried off the appliances (for fear of any more “flashes like lightning”), and went to bed. Nearly all was dry by morning. Guess what renter’s insurance doesn’t cover here in Washington? Water damage. Due to the state’s tendency for excessive flooding. Glad we had no need for it!

We’d had our much overdue housewarming party just days before the faucet fiasco. So glad the faucet didn’t kaput during the party! It’d have been a little added party dynamic, yes? ♦

The action – Wet lens, wet Bean, diligently at work
Kitchen Sink

The aftermath – water falling from the ceiling

Water On Ceiling

Rolling down the radio

Water Rolling Down Radio

Beading on the fridge magnets

Water on Fridge Magnets

Dripping off the cupboards

Water On Cupboards

Pooling on the stovetop

Water On Stovetop

A thoroughly drenched Bean

Drenched Woman

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A Little Zobmondo In Your Day

More nonsense. Because I can.

Remember, that “I won’t choose either”, “Neither one”, “Who cares?”, and “I would rather die” should never be uttered in a given answer. Would you rather …

1. Eat a cup of uncooked popcorn

OR

a box of uncooked spaghetti?

2. Have a see-through nose

OR

entirely white eyeballs?

3. Have to kill Winnie-the-Pooh

OR

Bambi?

Why did Tigger look in the toilet?
He was trying to find poo.

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Common Household Ingredient Aids In Curbing Appetite

Found the perfect deterrent to that late night snack. Looking to resist some extra calories? Try poo under your fingernails. It should do the trick! Yeah, was watching the children of some friends again last week. I’m rocking the little girl, 2-and-a-half-years-old, to sleep after a bedtime story and thinking that all is right with the world when she exclaims, “I have to go potty!” Well, glory be, this is a welcome development! Potty training has stalled as of late, so to hear such initiative on her part is a great thing. A little off in timing perhaps, but nevertheless …

We troop out to the nearby bathroom where I look to her to kinda lead me through the steps she’s been taught and we’re doin’ great! That is, until, down come the jamma bottoms, to reveal the almighty poo-poo, untamed poo-poo overflowing, nearing gush mode, out and down the little legs of my little friend.

“Stay right there! Don’t touch a thing, okay? I’ll be right back with wipes!” Who tells a 2-and-a-half-year-old that and actually expects positive results, you may ask? A desperate woman, that’s who.

Up to the tile counter I whisk her.

Running downstairs grabbing the container of wipes, running back, all with delusional hopes of little fingers staying out of the brown mush emerging from her drawers. It acts as a magnet to most little fingers. Had visions of smeared brown walls, tufts of rug covered in random pieces of drudgery. The possibility of dookie poked in ears, wiped in hair, squished in between tiny little toes. I re-entered the bathroom to find the little lady laughing and pointing gleefully at the poo. “Tinky!” she says. “Yes!” I agree, with krinkled nose and nodding head. Up to the tile counter I whisk her. Strip off all remaining clothing, promptly gagging at the sight of what looks like a brown chocolate cake glued to her little bum. Visually, can totally deal with this. Having huge difficulties with the aroma, however. From the waist down, I remained standing in front of her while I flung my upper half out the bathroom door into the hallway gasping for fresh air.

She didn’t miss a beat! “What doing?” she asks. I tell this child the truth. “Honey, the poo-poo is stinky like you said, and I was trying to breath in some fresh air.” “Oh,” she replies, and promptly laughs. Ha! She totally laughed at me in all her 2-and-a-half-year-old wisdom. “This lady’s an amateur,” she had to be thinking, “Wait till she gets a LOAD of what I dosed Daddy with last week!”

Love that munchkin. We wiped and cleansed and freshly dressed our way back to a lovely time in the rocking chair. Me nodding off while she snuggled in, wide awake and “reading” to me this time around. No poo-poo displaced to walls or carpet or little ears or little toes.

Yeah, just to under my fingernails. ♦

Smiling Toddler Girl

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Ever Pull Your Ponytail Too Tight? Youch!

The insomnia is back. This isn’t a bad thing, just an odd thing that leaves me wide awake until daybreak. I’m awake just enough to be wired, fully conscience of the fact that I’m WIDE AWAKE, unable to sleep, but not so awake that I’m of a mind to be productive in any way. Whatsoever. Instead, hours pass by, often quickly, thank goodness, in which I float through existence in a surreal-like state doing nothing much else other than thinking, contemplating, philosophizing. My brain won’t shut off … must count sheep … 13 sheepies …

So happy to have the temperature drop. Several weekends ago, I couldn’t remove enough clothing, drink enough water, sit still enough, take enough cold showers. Hot, sticky. I would have slept in the bathtub, had I not had “one can drown in three inches of water,” running through my head. Bean told me about a dude who lobbed a fan at her in desperation when she politely told him at the register that it was against store policy to sell him the display model, and that, yes, she did know they were out of stock, along with every other store in a fifty mile radius … 12 sheepies …

Alias Season V will be available soon. Utterly ludicruous, totally outlandish series with every character in possession of at least nine lives. And I love it! Watched all the back seasons via Netflix during this past year’s Christmas gift wrapping. The BEST cameos EVER! Christian Slater. Ethan Hawke. Quentin Tarantino. Isabella Rosellini. More! Haven’t been this excited to see the outcome of an on-screen romance since the last time I got caught up in a television series: X-Files. Yep, back-to-back episodes late Sunday nights kept me company while working on assignments for class. My complete lack of interest in the show blossomed into a post-series obsession quickly turning to undying loyalty in the watch for any sign of requited love to be found between Mulder and Scully (almost typed Mully and Sculder). Was rewarded with a long-awaited, most perfect declaration of love stated through one fantasmic kiss near series end. Le sigh. Ok, that’s my abbreviated plug for shows revolving around agents. Don’t get me started on Keifer Sutherland AKA Jack Bauer in 24 … 11 sheepies …

Sporting ruby red slipper nail polish for the third week in a row … 10 sheepies …

Ruby Red Slipper Nail Polish

My chicken popped! Everyone should have a pint-sized rubber chicken in their car. Just be sure that when the sun rises in all it’s warmth and super-hot glory, that the liquid-filled, squishy yolk substance lying within your rubber chicken, doesn’t ooze down the dash as mine did … 9 sheepies …

Popped Rubber Chicken

Cliff is outta the hospital, hallelujah and yahoo! Been out for several weeks and getting better every moment. A friend from school, and a good painting buddy, he apparently got really sick, passed out on the front lawn, and woke up days later in the hospital fresh from a coma. Remains unexplained. Here’s to you … 8 sheepies …

Superman Logo

Went to the Street of Dreams recently. A row of gorgeous, high-priced homes decked out to the nines with the latest in design and amenities and for the price of admission, one can peruse every nook and cranny in the search for their own decorating ideas. This is one of my favorite little bits … 7 sheepies …

Outdoor Chess Board Game

Would like a ballroom dancing partner come autumn with cooler weather and the taking up of new activites, but alas, they apparently only reside in Florida nowadays … 6 sheepies …

I’m crazy about edamame. The little green buggers. Darn McDonald’s Asian salad … 5 sheepies … 

Edamame

I like the pick-up line in Derailed.

Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston In Derailed

I wanna go to a monster truck rally! Wanna buy an obnoxious over-sized foam finger and mightily wave it to and fro in the air screaming my lungs out for mondo vehicles … CRUSH THE COMPETITION! Yeahhhhh!! Woooooo-hooooo!!! Jump those doubledecker school busses! YeeeeeeHaaaah. It could be fun … 4 sheepies …

“Thawed For Your Convenience”. These are the words that grace the orange juice container I purchased at Jack In the Box the other day. The words imply a favor. That they’ve gone and actually liquified a former solid so that I may quench my thirst immediately as opposed to waiting until the rock melts. Simply amazing … 3 sheepies …  

Oh, look. It’s Bean.

Tina Holding A Dolly

She’s come for a visit.

She’s left friends.

Dolly and Stuffed Toy

That pointy thing up there scares me. I sometimes imagine it falling, landing sharply on my face somewhere. It is only paper. But hey, it’s folded sharply and positioned precariously. Sure, it’s a pretty paper lamp at the second angle, but lying directly underneath, squarely on my pillow, insta-weapon.

What I won’t endure for decor … 2 sheepies …

Cobalt Blue Star Lamp

Cobalt Blue Star Lamp

Am making one of these for breakfast come morning with the mum…..

German Pancake

… 1 sheepie … ♦

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