Wonderment: Why, oh why, are the photos I’m posting showing up with those blurry little spots and dashed lines? The resolution is 72dpi, some are even 300dpi, the dimensions are fair in size … what to do? I’m supposed to be the one who knows this kinda thing, too, working with photos in design all the time, and all. Geez, Louise! ♦
Fog. YAY! Went in the store tonight, clear. Came out, fog! Instant atmosphere. I am in an especially good mood today. Good moods are frequent occurrences for me, but today, life just feels grand. Wish I had a time machine, though. It’d be grander yet! Well, tonight will be a long one. Much to wrap! Much. Oooo … the house on the corner has the coolest vintage Christmas lights. They’re blue, almost my favorite green-blue, and their front windows look all eery and pretty because of it. I wonder if they’d sell me those lights? Something to think about enquiring on.
So, my Christmas quest still ain’t over! Here’s how it’s gone as of late: head to a store with intended gifts to purchase, but alas! Out of stock. Booo! Hisss! So, then, it ends up that the next three stores don’t even have the intended items. It’s like some sort of sick multiplication problem I’m stuck in. 1 STORE x 1 INTENDED ITEM = 3 MORE STORES!
It’s the only company’s version I’m interested in seeing.
Know what is not a happy thing? Missing the Pacific NW Ballet’s performance of The Nutcracker again this year. Maurice Sendak, children’s book illustrator regale, designed the sets years back. It’s the only company’s version I’m interested in seeing. Drosselmier is my favorite. Followed by the peacock woman! Next year? I so hope.
I’m thinking Tilda Swinton may be perfect casting as the White Witch in The Chronicles of Narnia! I don’t know for sure, still must see the movie, but that is surely how I’ve always envisioned her. Jack Black was on Letterman last night. Oooh, yeah! Funny little man. Can’t wait to see him in the big monkey movie. That reminds me, I must ask someone if their little roommate gets to trek along to said film. Surely, yes!
Happy news: There will be two, week-long endeavors down south to help with hurricane relief come January and February via my church. I really hope I can go! Pick me, pick me! We will see. I’m anxiously awaiting a phone call from the director. I so want to go. Wanted to go when it all happened a few months ago, but couldn’t have time off at that point. Besides, I totally want to help after the first waves of relief have occurred and there will still be much to do, with not as many actively willing to help. That’s when it’s important to hop to it. Have had the Red Cross site bookmarked for weeks and weeks, but the time for training just hasn’t ever felt like the right time. Now, if this opportunity pans out, I know why it didn’t feel right before. So excited!
Jiminy Christmas … just looked at the count for views of my blog today and it’s more than it’s ever been, by far. ♦
It’s nearly 2:30 a.m. I am mad at myself. I treated my mom like doo today. I didn’t mean to. I just don’t know how to communicate with her. At all. Enough said. Or not enough said. I can’t even think how to begin to enjoy her company. I love her. She is my mom. Love is just built in with some people and that includes moms. How come I can’t ever seem to give her the benefit of the doubt, the grace, I try to give other people? Will keep trying. It’s all that can be done.
Need to go sit quietly and just be still for awhile instead of running around like a headless chicken.
In happier news, I finally, finally was paid for a freelance job I completed some time ago. Check in the mail along with copies of the work for my portfolio. So hooray for that! I have to make time to read a short story by James Joyce. The Turn of the Screw. Bean says she wants my take on it because it was a bit confusing. I think it’s supposed to be elusive, though, and left to interpretation, from the summary I read of it so far. In the morning, church. I am glad. I feel empty and full at the same time. Like I need all the bad to be erased and to be refilled with all things good. Can’t think of a better place than church for that. Need to go sit quietly and just be still for awhile instead of running around like a headless chicken.
Our Christmas tree is all red this year. Red lights. Red ornaments. Red star. Red. The living room now glows, all warm in this redness. Green surely wouldn’t have the same feeling. Nor blue.
Ice on the roads tonight. Slipped here and there all the way home just awhile ago. And my nose is cold. Hate that. Time to crawl into bed. Got a new blanket. Need another one even, I think. Still cold. Need to think. Or maybe just sleep instead. Ever feel like you think too much? Are happy and then begin looking and analyzing what could go wrong? Old habit of mine. Long left behind now rearing its ugly head. All because of some dumbness that I read. Not even dumbness really. Just feelings someone is allowed to have concerning another. Still, it is not fun to find that someone else could get in the way of what I hope is mine. Mine. Le sigh. ♦
How happy was I yesterday morning? Very! Snow for about a half hour. None of it stuck, but still, snow, it was! Love! I stared out the window much of that half hour just looking up at the flakes coming down. If it’s gonna be cold, it should at least look pretty, I’m thinking. I hope there is a ton of snow at some point this coming winter. We haven’t been dumped on in a few years now, where it stuck for any significant amount of time, at least, and I love when the sometimes monotonous, day in and day out, gets broken up by snow or a good black out. A nice walk in the snow is long overdue. When the snow finds a way to accumulate on even the tiniest of little twigs stemming from one of the many branches on the barren trees in the woods. Beautiful. Oooh, and when some of the round little red berries out and about get encased in ice, too.
A big boo to that.
Sunday was great fun! Went to watch a good friend cross the finish line in a 1/2 marathon. As I stood waiting, I kept a tally running in my head of the runners. Two with sunglasses, one without a shirt on, three with headphones, five couples, three people smiling, all of these small little tallies on over at least a hundred or more people. Out of the five thousand that ran. I was really surprised that no one was really smiling. Sure, I know what it is to be huffing and puffing, tired and out of breath, but still, all those people just accomplished something they set out to do and only three of them were smiling? A big boo to that. Standing there earnestly waiting for Shannon (hey, pretty girl!), hoping not to miss her in the increasing sea of people, I was all set to see her round the corner with a look of determination and maybe the desire to cry, not because she couldn’t hack it, but because she would be tired and emotional from finishing. But, no! There was Shan, at last! Huge, wonderful smile on her face! That made my day. The fourth smile! So worth the wait to see. Don’t think she stopped smiling the whole time afterwards either. Shan, you rock!
Afterwards, I spent the afternoon hunting down gifts for my sister for Christmas. It was a gorgeous afternoon! Sun, even. It felt very much like the Christmas season. If I could hug the city somehow, with all its cracked sidewalks, old buildings, window displays, random bums and street performers, I would. I love it soooooo much. Caught a bus home. Missed the first one, though! Had my mind elsewhere, thoughts of someone. I envisioned this great scenario where I was walking down the sidewalk across the street from the bus depot. It’s a great little bit of sidewalk, and I thought how someday, we may walk down that sidewalk together, and then my mind turned to thoughts of wares and such. ;)
Well, that seems to be enough of a ramble for now … ♦
I saw Walk the Line. Have been waiting for it since May. Before May. Have loved Johnny Cash for many years. Was always told by my Dad growing up, “No honey, he’s a bad man, don’t like him.” My Dad looked at Cash’s actions, not heart. Bad move on his part. Biggest pet peeve of mine in life.
John & June had a most wonderful love story! Maybe the second best one there is. Last week, I heard an hour long tribute to the two, on some eclectic little radio station. Some bookish sounding woman waxed on about the love these two shared for one another, a sweet love, never tainted with bitterness, never lessened by time. Her soft spot for their story, her respect and admiration, left an impression on me. She told much about June Carter, how she was the daughter of America’s first Gospel family, the roots for many to follow. The host shared how that Gospel wasn’t just a genre to be sung for June, but was based on a sincere belief in God. Torn, she was, in her love for John versus her devotion to the Lord.
For years, she wrestled with her desire for a married man, a floundering, damaged man. She could not reconcile a want of John with following in line with her Godly beliefs, so at last, she chose. It is said, she chose John, to love the man, saying if loving Johnny Cash means burning in hell, I choose hell. Them there, are some powerful words! For a God-fearing Christian woman. I know. That’s BIG love. So in honor of a devoted woman. The words to my new favorite song:
Ring of Fire
Love is a burning thing
and it makes a fiery ring
bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire …
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, down
and the flames went higher.
And it burns, burns, burns
the ring of fire
the ring of fire.
The taste of love is sweet
when hearts like our’s meet
I fell for you like a child
oh, but the fire went wild …
I fell in to a burning ring of fire …
Simple words, not too much in the way of lyrics, have heard this song many times. But, saw it in a new light. Love compared to a fire. All consuming, enveloping, encompassing. It was shared that June meant for the song to mean her falling, not only into love, but into hell. I am glad to say for her sake, the sweetest of endings occurred. She made her choice. And John, a man of redemption, found his heart in the Lord as well. I have read words written by the man. Words of love that only a man who truly knows the Lord, trusts and shares in Him, could have written. So, for all those who find themselves falling as in the song, like I find myself, may the fall be sweet. ♦
Today was a great day, I tell you! I received the neatest of gifts from the neatest man I know. Made my day! I drove all the way to work like a smiling fool. It was a very Deborah-specific gift, to be sure. Aren’t those the best kinds of gifts, too? The ones that only someone who has taken the time to notice what you like, can give.
In other news, Jess, you kind girl, you. Bean told me all about Fiona Apple playing at the Paramount this coming Wednesday night and how you looked into tickets for us. I hear you have class so it won’t workout, but even so, the fact that it was a possibility really helped make my week. If it weren’t for you and Bryan being so generous with the free tickets over the last few years, I would have been concert-less and play-less on my meek little budget. So, thank you! Ok, that aside is complete …
Tonight I’ll be working on my Christmas shopping mission! A plan of attack, if you will. I so want to run right off to the stores and continue with what’s begun already, but I know I will go crazy and spend too much on something over here, when the money was meant for something over there. So instead, I will be a wise one and make a list. ♦
Dude, I feel like I blinked and it’s Christmas again almost. This may be the fastest year that has gone by yet! Time, slow down already! Lots I want to do yet. Today I am running the show at work. Hope I don’t mess it up! Missing a deadline is like the worst thing in newspaper land. At the very beginning of the year, my Dad told me the most encouraging words about how this was gonna be my year. I tell you, I think he was right. It appears that there will be a part II, as well, on into next year. No complaints here. It’s lunch time and I am having a love affair with this chicken bowl that I order several times a week. It has yet to get old! I wish it was double veggies and chicken, without the rice though. I asked the chicken bowl lady her name last week. It’s Shim. Shim will be receiving a little Christmas something from me, that’s for sure! She always, always recognizes my voice when I place the order over the phone, and she gives me extra spicy sauce on the side, too. YAY! I love the little details like that, when people out and about, know who you are. It makes life much more enjoyable. “Deborah, is that you?” she asks. I am glad that all went well yesterday, headache-free, sunglass-free! For a most amazing man I know. Hoping for more of the same today! ♦