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… WONDERMENTS


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I just pictured all of you in your underwear. Just thought you should know. In case you were wondering. :)

That shall stand as my topic lead-in. That of wonderment. Silly frivolity with a knack for accumulating and insulating the mind from the true tasks at hand. See also: Involuntary procrastination. The perpetual Googler, I am. Are you? Plugging in countless wonderments throughout the day, I am often rewarded with not only an answer, but relief from that nagging want of knowing. There are some wonderments that Google hasn't provided an answer for, and those I bring forth for mulling over.

Now surely Google could provide an explanation of various star rating systems, but one (me) would have to know the magic words to feed into said Google to drum up the wanted answe

Take for instance, the star rating system. Many things are rated by stars, be it movies, restaurants, hotels, the spice level of foods, on it goes. Now surely Google could provide an explanation of various star rating systems, but one (me) would have to know the magic words to feed into said Google to drum up the wanted answer. In the past, I thought 4-star this and 4-star that were considered top-notch, but I sometimes hear of 5-star that and 5-star this. Indian and Thai food at one restaurant have been on a 4-star scale of spiciness, 5-star at another. So clearly, certain topics are not rigidly defined, but restaurants and hotels must be, yes? Can someone clarify, tell me the maximum number of stars in superiority for each? You'll earn a star. ;)

Wondering how many of you can claim the luxury of an ejection seat feature in your current vehicle. Because I can! I may slow to stop at an intersection. Brake to avoid hitting furry woodland creatures and small cuddly toddlers. Or abruptly tromp on the the pedal to prevent collision with the vehicle of an erratic driver (probably due to their own plague of wonderment). My seat belt slides into action! Dutifully reversing in its track from its snug and appropriate location up near my shoulder, it hauls bum back to a passive location, back to where it resides during car OFF mode. This clears the way for the force built from moving at rapid speed to hurl the driver (gulp) up and out. "Beep, beep, beep!" it proclaims as it goes. Ejector seat! The wonderment lies in the car company (Mazda is most certainly NOT my beloved VW) who provided an Allen wrench toolish thing-a-ma-jig along with printed instructions in a little "care kit" for when "maintenance" of the randomly dysfunctioning seatbelt occurs. Was the matter of potential ejection not deemed worthy enough for a more viable solution? A recall? A non-release of vehicle to market until all seat belts were perfected?

I am happily clueless when it comes to all things Harry Potter save for those delightful Bertie's Botts Jelly Belly jelly beans. Truly, who's Bertie? But love those beans! With such horrendous flavors as Vomit, Booger, Ear Wax, Sardine, Rotten Egg, Bacon and Spaghetti, it's like a super mini version of Fear Factor. A taste, if you will. I'm quite fond of the Black Pepper bean, as I actually feel I must sneeze for a brief moment. Behold! New flavors await! Toothpaste, Moldy Cheese, Baby Wipes and Pencil Shavings. Can't wait for the Pencil Shavings, as I'm quite familiar with the taste, rather smell of them, due to the abundant use of colored pencils over the years. Skunk Spray, anyone? That's the one I DREAD. Totally wondering about the taste test process involved in recreating such flavors. Did lab testers have to actually taste a sampling of boogers and ear wax and such to determine the taste to aim for? Were there scores of test audience participants who tasted and unanimously voted that -yep, that's so the flavor of Sardine?

I've relented. I now own an out ’n’ out coffee maker. Have had an espresso machine for years, but that's all together different. Thing is, I don't wanna actually drink coffee. Not on a daily must-consume-caffeine-to-function-kinda level, you know? Yeah, I just want the joys and comfort of the AROMA. Childhood is what did it. The memory of coffee wafting down the hall when first waking, the sound of the percolation, I want it! Dream of it even! The model I'd truly like happens to cost an unjustifiable $999, so I'm making do with an easy, cheap ’n’ dinky 4-cup model. Sounds a bit like Darth Vader. Wondering if I can feel right about brewing a pot o' mud every morning just for the satisfaction of a childhood whim. I'm thinking not. I need some friendly coffee drinking neighbors who can use this to their benefit! That, or Bean's gonna have to start drinking morning coffee!

Wondered how long before she'd have her fill of petting

In the pursuit of answering a recent wonderment, I visited Sahale, one of the best dogs on the planet! Was at my friend's house and their Golden Retriever was in want of constant attention and affection as always. Thought it was time to dote on her a bit and see just how much she could take. Wondered how long before she'd have her fill of petting. An hour and 45 minutes later, she stood, stretched and walked to the front door. Triumph! That was nothing. Thought I'd be there for the 3-5 hour range. Not even five minutes later though, she circled back for round two!

Restless sleep has been mine for the dealing off and on for months and months now. Back in February though, it's like something clicked, I could finally, finally sleep well again. Celebrated with foo-foo bedding! Anyone else have particular difficulty with staying put securely in their bed when swathed in satin sheets? Clothing or no, I slip right out. Not like, hit-the-floor out, but precarious dangling is a nightly event. Even tried lotion as a sort of makeshift adhesive, to no avail. Soon enough, it dries, and then extra lotiony soft, the treachery continues. Thinking this one's a case of "Suck it up, Davis! Super slippery, silky soft bedding is a trouble many would gladly claim."

Also wondering ... what happened here? It's like a duck exploded, or something. The lawn near my car, covered! Did I leave the car unlocked? Was there an unauthorized use of ...

Lawn Covered In White Feathers

… the ejector seat?


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